There I was: angry, discouraged and sure I had been treated unfairly. My performance in an important customer meeting could have been better, they told me. I might have tuned out early, seemed uninterested and relied on my team to cover for me.
In the early years of my career, feedback like that felt like a knife through the heart. I took it so personally that I avoided it. The leadership team wanted me to succeed. They talked to me about my weaknesses and how to be more professional, and they helped me improve my performance. At the time it overwhelmed me.
Feedback helps us improve. It enhances our performance and life skills, at work and outside it. Many of us may not realise how our behaviour affects the people around us, and understanding that can help us improve. A culture where feedback is given and received openly helps individuals grow.
How you deliver it matters. The person receiving it has to understand it well. Start from the receiver’s genuine interest in improvement rather than punishing with points or “the stick”. Be clear and specific: describe the behaviour in some detail along with the impact it caused, and use examples so the person can see how others might have viewed their actions. It can be useful to show how a different approach could lead to a better result, based on what the staff member can do in their own way.
Communicating effectively based on individual staff member styles is an important consideration. Four communication styles need to be taken into account: process, action, people and idea. Depending on which one dominates, a person is likely to be more receptive to one style than another, so it pays to know your own style and meet the staff member in theirs.
Set up varied communication channels, and use them regularly.
- A team meeting every one to two weeks, where people talk about how they are feeling and what is getting in their way, including any rumours going around the office. This practice helps keep communication open.
- An open-door policy, so team members can get help quickly and issues get addressed as soon as they arise.
- A meeting that brings local and remote workers together to discuss business strategies and reinforce goals. It is also where good performance gets recognised.
- Company town halls, where the manager and team share their work with everyone in the organisation.
As the team manager, build trust with each member so problems can be raised and worked through without fear of punishment. Staff need to feel empowered to perform their role effectively, with your support behind them.
Give feedback without judgement and encourage the staff member towards their own solutions rather than handing them yours. The GROW method is one way in: the person identifies their goal and what is keeping them from achieving it, the options get discussed, and the team member decides on the best way forward. Your job through most of that is to listen, roughly 80% of the time against 20% speaking, which keeps you from forcing your own ideas onto them. Stay mindful of what is being spoken and of your own reactions.
Where disputes occur, have a clear process in place so they can be resolved quickly.
The workplace is where we build our own capability and maturity, and our team’s along with it. Years on, I can see that the criticism I resented came from people who wanted me to succeed.
